5 qualities that define Women Leadership
What would the world look like where women are the King?
Not the Queen, but the King… Or maybe the Emperor…
Every woman I have coached is a leader by design.
Yet – if I ask you to name a leader you admire a lot, probably it’s not a woman you will think of first…
Or maybe you will…
May be you will think of Ruth Bader Ginsberg…Or Jacinda Ardern…Or Christine Lagarde…
We are evolving, slowly but surely. I am experiencing the difference. The number of women who approach me for executive coaching has increased in the last 5 years.
Though the majority of leaders I coach are still men – I have noticed an interesting pattern. Most of the men I coach are sponsored by their organizations – most women I coach are self-sponsored. I haven’t had the privilege to coach a non-binary coachee yet, and I would like to…
The COVID crisis is another reminder of the fact that we live in a volatile world and we still have a long way to go in preparing ourselves for change and disruption.
It’s not easy to see patterns up close. So I am taking a step back and looking at the traits that make for the most essential leadership personas, especially during critical times like today.
With this write up, I wish to reach out to every leader who is on her journey to make a difference.
1. Listen-in.
Don’t create followers, create leaders. This is a mantra I emphasise with every coachee of mine.
What can you do as a leader to break the chain of hierarchy and conventional leadership? What are your practices to prevent you from falling into the trap of bias – conscious or unconscious?
How can you genuinely ensure that you are listening-in to all the diverse views on your teams?
One of the leaders I have coached has come a really long way on this. She makes sure to ask every member, especially the quieter ones are heard. She makes notes and cross questions, seeks the ‘why’ about their input. She has truly become an inclusive leader.
2. Speak-up.
A huge percentage of women leaders who I coach or have coached struggle with the strength of speaking up, no matter how intelligent or perceptive they are. The good thing is, it’s a learnable skill.
There are many reasons they don’t speak up – sometimes it’s because they think it’s not their place – e.g. to hold a peer or even a boss accountable, other times they don’t know how to articulate a difficult message and still remain respectful. This is where he meta-skill of holding ‘crucial conversations’ comes on handy.
“Hey, this is what I inferred from what you said. Is my understanding correct?”
Simple things like separating facts from the narrative you have in your head, your story around the facts are a good way to start a crucial conversation.
3. Convey Trust.
We are humans – we are biased. And that’s ok. The important thing is to identify if our biases are impacting what we see, hear and do. I love the quote by Brene Brown – Clear is Kind.
It’s not always easy to make an unpopular decision or to convey it. But an authentic leader does just that. That conveys trust, even though it’s challenging in the short term. When you choose courage over comfort, you strengthen your Leadership Brand.
4. Be compassionate.
We have long lived in a society where leadership is equated to being tough. Compassion and kindness were considered deterrents to making the best decision. This is a topic of great interest to my coachees. Time and again I have seen that being compassionate is a leadership strength they tend to suppress – to fit in with the prevailing ‘tough and powerful leader’ paradigm. I challenge them to be who they are and to bring what they genuinely wish to do to the front – not to fit into any perceived mould.
5. Be curious. And generous.
The future demands us to go beyond boundaries and create newer solutions. For that we need to nurture curiosity that comes not only through diverse demographics – age, gender, functions and the like – but more importantly through psychographics – the way people think and feel. And then there is generosity – nurturing your ability and motivation to give back to the community.
For sure these qualities are not limited to women leaders. Actually Leadership is also not about being a King or a Queen.
Leadership is a journey for all of us. And there’s a magic that comes with taking time out to reflect on the things that will make a difference. Coaching leaders is my way to invigorate, challenge, encourage them to shake off whatever is holding them back – through offering a non-judgmental space where they can be themselves – and keep striving to become more of themselves in their lives.